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Jewberish

The NYC School Board has officially declared Jewish English a second language. Backers of the move say the district is the first in the nation to recognize Jewberish as the language of many American Jews. Look at other cities to follow suit, notably Miami Beach, Los Angeles and Scarsdale.

In Jewberish: Questions are always answered with questions:

Question: "How do you feel?"
Jewberish Response: "How should I feel?"

Question: "Why do you always answer a question with a question?"
Jewberish Response: "What do you want me to say?"

The subject is often placed at the end of a sentence after a pronoun has been used in the beginning: "She dances beautifully, that girl."

The emphatic negative of words is made by adding "sh" to the front of a word:

Mountains become "shmountains", turtle becomes "shmurtle"
(mountains-shmountains, turtle-shmurtle).

These common phrases were translated from "Standard English" to Jewberish:

English: "He walks slowly"
Jewberish: "Like a fly in Vaseline he walks".

English: "Sorry I dont know the time"
Jewberish: " What, do I look like a clock?"

English: "I hope things turn out okay"
Jewberish: "You should BE so lucky".

English: " I see you're wearing the tie I gave you."
Jewberish: "Whats the matter? The other tie you didn't like?"

English: "Anything can happen".
Jewberish: "Things are never so bad that they can't get worse".

English: "May I take your plate, sir?"
Jewberish: "You hardly touched your food. What's the matter, something wrong with it?

English: "Its been so long since you've called."
Jewberish: "You didn't wonder if I'm dead yet?"

English: "Lets go skiing."
Jewberish: " Mountains, shmountains! Do I look like a sled to you?"













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