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If computers were Jewish

1. Your PC would shut down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
2. Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go!  I'm not getting any younger!" button.
3. "Abort, Retry, Ignore" would be replaced with "Stop it already -You're killing me! -You vant I should try it again?- I didn't hear that!"
4. When disconnecting external devices from the back of your PC, you would be instructed to "Remove from your PC's tuchis the cable."
5. Your multimedia player would be renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!"
6. Microsoft Office would include "A little byte of this, a little byte of that."
7. When running "scandisk", you will be prompted with a "You vant I should fix this?” message.
8. When your PC is working too hard, you would occasionally hear a loud "Oy!!!"
9. A "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz would advertise that it gets rid of the “schmutz” on your monitor.
10. After 20 minutes of no activity, your PC would go "Schluffen."
11. Computer viruses could now be cured with chicken soup.


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