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The Guru

Mrs Gottlieb was 65 years old and always went to Israel every year to spend her holidays on the beach at Eilat. This year was different. She went to see her usual travel agent and told him she wanted a ticket to Calcutta in India. The travel agent was aghast and tried to put her off the whole idea:

"Please Mrs Gottlieb, at your age such a long journey would be very hard for you. You'll need to be vaccinated and its side effects will make you poorly even before you go. Besides it gets so hot over there, you'll be shvitzing! The rains are bad too, pouring down for weeks! You just won't be able to manage it."

Mrs Gottlieb refuses to listen. She buys her ticket to Calcutta and leaves the following week. The journey is long and arduous. However when she arrives, Mrs Gottlieb finds out the place she wants to be is many miles away. She has to hire a car and driver. The car keeps breaking down and the heat is unbearable. Nothing stops her from her from reaching her destination. In the end she finds herself lost in the heart of the jungle. She asks the locals if she can see the Guru. She is told she cannot see him because he is meditating for 2 weeks. Undetered, Mrs Gottlieb stays in the jungle and asks every day to see the Guru, and every day she is told she cannot. Finally on the 15th day she is told she can see the Guru. However, as he has been meditating and introspecting for so long, she can only say one short sentence.

Mrs Gottlieb walks into the Guru's room, hands on hips, marching purposefully. She goes right up to him and says in a lout voice for all to hear:

"OK Shmulik, this has gone for long enough. Now you're coming home!"


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