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Our Shul is Better Than Your Shul

For your every comfort and supreme satisfaction on Shabbat and Yom Tov, we would like to cater for all your religious and social needs, and for your actual or imagined meshugas. To help us to help you, please complete the the form below, circling your preference and return it at your convience.

1. I wish to be placed in a seat next to someone who wishes to discuss the following topics:

Stock Market
Medicine (including 'what's my op?')
Fashion News (including 'what has she got on?')
My neighbours
My relatives
Your relatives
The Rabbi/ Rabbi's Wife/Rabbi's Children
General Gossip
Specific Gossip (including salacious, heimische, krenks - various)

2. I wish to be seated in a seat where:

the exit is easily accessible
I can hide from the shul wardens
I can hide from the shul treasurers
I can hide from my children
I can hide from everybody's children

I cannot hear the Children's Service
I can sleep during the Rabbi's Sermon
No-one on the Bimah can see me talking during the services

3. I wish to be located next to the following so that I may obtain free professional advice:

Doctor/Consultant/Senior Consultant
Estate Agent
Computer Expert

4. If you want the office to inform your in-laws that no seats are available next to you, please call the office with a specific list.


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