Just before Rosh HaShana, a gang of terrorists invades the synagogue and takes the rabbi, the chazan and the shul president hostage. Hours later, senior government officials and police are taking a hard line. They won't give the gang a million pounds, nor a getaway car, nor a jumbo jet.
The terrorists gather the three hostages in a corner and inform them that things look bad and they are goint to have to shoot them. Nevertheless, to show they are not really a bad bunch they'll grant each hostage a wish.
"Please," says the rabbi, "for the last two months I've been working on my Rosh HaShana drosh. What a waste to die without having read it to an audience. I'll go happily if you let me deliver my drosh. It's an hour - ninety minutes at the most."
The gang promise to grant his wish.
"Please," says the chazan, after 50 years I've finally got the Hinneni prayer just right. What a waste not to die and not sing it to an audience. It's only 45 minutes long - then I'll go happily."
After promising to grant the chazan's wish, the terrorists turn to the shul president.
"Please," pleads the president with tears in his eyes. "Shoot me first!"
